Back to reality

Ok…I am doing well with all of the running thing and this journey thing. Having a great day…then I get thrown back into reality. And frustration and disappointment. Some (if not all) of you know that I am working to lose 30 pounds by October 1st. You will have to check back then to see how I am doing, but based on the comments I have been receiving lately, I am doing well. Since that goal will be coming to an end in a couple of weeks, my running partner tells me we have new fitness goals. This year has been awesome so far and I have accomplished much with my spiritual growth, getting over fear, exercising on a regular basis,etc. One of these goals includes doing situps. We need to do 27 in 1 minute. Today, is our first crack at it. I eagerly await these new challenges with great confidence and expect to do decently, even mediocre would show something. Alas, I was wrong. I could not do 1 sit up. NOT ONE. It was a struggle even when she held my feet and I am confident it looked pretty pitiful. She might as well have knelt behind me and pushed my back. Failure…in front of her just about killed me. But she was supportive and awesome, like she always is. All day I would get mad and when I caught that I was doing it, I would then tell myself, “Get there!” I have come so far and now I am discouraged by a detour. Not a road block. So now, I have the goals on my computer at work along with a sticky that says, “Get there!” and they are also on my mirror at home. After work today, I came home and did 20 sit ups – with help from my cedar chest that was able to keep my feet on the ground. As I was doing them, I looked at my stomach. It has gotten smaller and I wonder if that has a bigger meaning. I shed what I did not need to keep. Everything that I was holding onto with my life before now has been with me, but not been necessary to live. But now, my stomach is not tone or strong. I need to build it back up now that I begun to focus my energy and attention on what must be with me to live. This reality check will keep me grounded and I have realized just how much more work I really need to do to get where I need to be. If I can, you can. Get there!

Michelle Homme 2010 ©