Can’t wish for what you want

You can’t hope for it, either. Doing all the wishing and hoping doesn’t get you any closer to what you want…it can leave you empty. Only if you let it. What do you want? What are you willing to do to get there? Are you willing to take night classes for two years so you can get your degree and move onto a better job? Are you willing to take a second job to pay for your daughter’s dance classes? Are you willing to allow yourself to want something different? I was talking with LP yesterday at work and when people say they want something, they are afraid to admit it out loud for several reasons. One, they are afraid they will be wrong…no one likes to fail, especially in front of others. I know I am guilty of that one. Second, they don’t want to be accountable to anyone…someone might actually encourage them to make a change and that can be frightening. Third, they are afraid to commit…what happens if I change my mind? Today is a special day for me…today is the 2nd anniversary of when my life took a hard left to some place I did not know I was going and have been traveling this road ever since. I did not see my life as being here, right now, when I got up on January 4th, 2010. It was going to be like any other day, or so I thought. Needless to say, I am not in the same place I was, nor am I the same person. In two years, I have allowed my heart to feel like never before and have set aside the walls I had spent a lifetime building. I have given more than I ever thought I could. I have dedicated to people who I am truly grateful to have in my life and use Rule 22 as a guide in telling them what they mean to me. I have used the words I know to share ideas, thoughts, and perspectives on this blog as it has become an online journal of life as we know it. No, I could never have wished for this, but I am humbled that He had to show it to me and I had to trust it before I would fully understand that this is indeed what I want. Thank you.

Michelle Homme 2012 ©