Oh my gosh!!!! Have you ever just been sitting down, doing whatever, and then felt like something just whopped you upside the head?!? I totally could not stop smiling all day. I send an email to Rocky and just tell her, “I get it!” She replies that she is curious, but I tell her she has to wait…I have to tell her in person. I cannot wait to tell her – I know I can hear the excitement in my voice already and I haven’t said a word. Let me back up and really set this up right, so you get the full picture. A couple of weeks ago, I was visiting Rocky in “her office” and she is helping me with some computer stuff so I can take the next step. I begin to tell her how much I doubt (remember – I really, really dislike that word) on what kind of changes I can make in other people’s lives and what I am doing there, etc. It all comes out and she says that she believes in me and that I need to move forward. Over the weekend, I send her an email that includes the hesitation of my ability to help others change their lives and that fear is not what seems to be the problem anymore. I actually admit that although I cannot change others lives, I can change mine. Once I admitted that, the doubt disappeared. Ultimately, the choice to change your life is yours alone, although outside influences may lead you to choose that. Even though I have taken chances and new steps that may lead me into a new direction, essentially nothing in my life has changed yet. When we feel inspired, it is mostly as a result of something we saw, read about, or heard. It has been mentioned to me by several people that I can inspire others. But that choice of free will is still their choice. They have to allow that inspiration to get to their soul, before they will make any changes. I realized today that I had the wrong attitude. First and foremost, I must be inspired and motivated to change MY LIFE. Then, and only then, will that change inspire others to do the same. I have heard it over and over at the office since I have lost weight. “What have you done to lose weight?” “Tell me how you did it!” “If you can do it, so can I.” I was carrying doubt that wasn’t mine to carry. The only doubt that I need to carry is whether or not I have the ability to change my life, and I know I can. I proved it to myself when I took my less than perfect childhood and still believed in wanting more for my husband and children. I proved it by doing it my way, even though it was hard and frustrating. I proved it when I ran my way to be 35 pounds lighter than I was a year ago. I have a sentence in my Life Statement that says, “I have control over how I choose to live my life.” We all do, but do we really choose? Or do we just let it happen? You can choose. It was so hard to keep this to myself today…finding little moments to chuckle about how easy a revelation I had just found. Take a deep breath…do you get it yet? You can – it is possible!!
Michelle Homme 2011 ©