Life never goes as planned

I ordered three new books last week and they arrived yesterday. I am not sure why I even ordered them since the last thing I need right now is something else to do, even though I am better for it. However, I also did need to use a gift card that was given to me for the holidays. As I took a brief moment to reflect on what has transpired in my life over the last year or so, I came to this revelation – life does not go as planned. As young adults beginning on our own away from parents, we really become aware of the things that we really have no control over, but must learn to deal with ourselves. Our oldest son is a sophomore at college and he is about 2 1/2 hours away from home and has learned to grow up quite a bit since he left. However, that has also made him resourceful and more reliable on what he is capable of doing, without our help. I was trying to remember what my life was like before I asked for it to be different – pretty much the same that it had been for many years. It is really hard for some people to understand or explain when they inquire as to why I am different now. I went to lunch with a co-worker that I do not know very well, but have also enjoyed working with him. When things were not going well at work, he sent a very supportive email that was very much appreciated. It was interesting to hear about changes and reflections that he has made recently in his life and I share with him more about “my journey”. Do you ever shake your head and wonder, “How did I get here?” I do that probably at least once a day. Not because I am really questioning, but more because I cannot believe I am where I am. I cannot plan what happens next, but I am moving ahead like never before. It is what drives me and little reminders of what I am supposed to be doing with my life seem to pop up, just to make sure I am paying attention. Don’t waste a lot of time planning what you think will happen, because chances are it will happen anyway and in a way that you didn’t plan for. I had played out in my head every way that I thought Rocky and I would meet for the first time after we didn’t talk for so long. If you had seen my face when I saw her for the first time, you can bet I didn’t look like I had planned that one. Live your life…don’t think so much…treasure what you have been given.

Michelle Homme 2011 ©