Not my problem

Now, before you go to another page, hear me out. I came up with this phrase about 2 years ago when my oldest son was a senior in high school. I was trying (I thought) to encourage and guide him on the things he needed to do to submit applications for college, complete scholarships, schedule trips to schools, etc. His attitude always seemed like, “I’ll get to it when I get to it.” It made me want to seriously hurt him (I didn’t). But once I took a step back and I realized that his future was not my problem, my life was so much easier. As parents, our job was just about over and ultimately, his future should mean more to him than it does to us. That is when I came up with this phrase – “Not my problem.” It was so liberating. I had let go of all of the anxiousness that I had been carrying, but it wasn’t mine to carry. Anyway, I have shared that with everyone who had asked how the senior year went. Here’s how small the world is…in the spring of 2009, I had told a fellow baseball mom about “Not my problem.” I don’t see her very much, but she is always fun to talk to. when I do see her. Then, almost a year ago, I meet Rocky, and eventually her mom. I mention to her mom about that I know Rocky’s sister (the baseball mom), but never knew they were sisters. Seriously? They really don’t look-alike at all. Anyway, her mom starts telling me that baseball mom says, “Not my problem” all the time and she has always wondered where she got it from. I tell her from me. Now, you may be asking yourself, what is the point of this post? If you haven’t picked up on it yet, I work with kids and sometimes get an opportunity to visit with them about stuff going on in their lives. A few months ago, a young man and I had such a visit. He is in the middle of a horrible custody battle between his parents, which has affected him on most levels. Anyway, I had made a point to tell him that his parents’ problems were not his problems, so he needed to focus on taking care of himself. Here is where it gets interesting…yesterday, when he was in court, he told the Judge that! He said, “Their problems are their problems. It is not my problem.” Now, only he and I know that we had that conversation, but I could not stop thinking about it, so I wrote about it. There are signs everywhere, guiding us where we need to go and do. I think this is telling me I might be on the right track. Have a wonderful weekend. I am not sure that I will get to post before the holiday, but wishing you all a very Merry Christmas. If this is what 2010 has been like, I wonder what 2011 will be about!

Michelle Homme 2010 ©