Out the window

I know I think I have this all figured out. Truth is…I don’t and all of my best thought out plans have been thrown out the window. Instead, I am throwing my hands up and riding this rollercoaster. Yesterday, I emailed my story for a possible submission onto a blog that is managed by a well-known motivational speaker. Is there a chance it could lead to something? Yes. Is there a chance that it goes no where? Yes. But it will NEVER go anywhere if I didn’t send it. My answer would have been one that I decided, not someone else. Instead, I am letting someone else decide what happens next. Yes, yes, I know…this girl was the Queen of control too. I have believed my entire life that I could control everything. In some way shape or form, I made decisions that affected my world and therefore, if I could I would act or react before anyone else could. I played it safe. It was hard for me to let Rocky choose to say in my life when I had to put the walls down. Now, here I am very open and exposed to letting people see more of me than I have ever shown anyone. And you know what? I really don’t care. I am being me and throwing the control I had believed I had out the window. things are happening that I cannot explain and so trying to figure them out and understand them is a waste of time. It does me no good and I need to better spend my time on getting more things done. Do you toss your worries, your control, or anything else that you waste time and effort on out the window? You need to because it just wears you down. People always say, “It is what it is” and I say, “It is as it’s meant to be.” If this has been pre-designed for me, then me thinking that I can control it is an illusion. Hands up, baby. When you are on a rollercoaster, there are no windows.

Michelle Homme 2011 ©

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