Regret and true forgiveness

I have noticed that I have been writing more frequently on the blog, than I usually do. Maybe it is related to the inability to get out and run, and my mind hasn’t used up all it should in the hour of running I would do. The elliptical is only 30 minutes. That makes rational sense, doesn’t it? I was visiting with my mom yesterday, and she started to reminisce about how she wished she was a better mother to me and my brother when we were younger. I told her that she did the best she could with the knowledge she had at the time. So did our dad, even though they divorced when we were very young. Too long of a story to get into now, but I believe that we can always wish we had done things differently. I told her that instead of saying she wished she was a “better” mother, she should say “different” mother. Different doesn’t mean good or bad. My childhood was less than perfect and perhaps some of you can relate. Some of you might not be able to and that is ok too. Be patient with those of us that have things we have had to work through. Sometimes it takes longer than we think. I told my mom that I hold no grudges (grudges do you no good – keeps you holding onto the past) and that I have forgiven her. When I wrote “I give you permission“, I actually wrote it for a co-worker, but did not realize how applicable it was to my own life until I read it out loud. A couple of weeks ago, I felt like I needed to apologize to a friend. Now, I did not tell her why because she would tell me that I didn’t need to, but I need to do it for me. I simply told her, “I’m sorry” and all I asked her to say was, “It’s ok.” She did and I felt better. She still does not know why I needed that, but we all need forgiveness in our lives. True forgiveness is an awesome gift you can give to someone else, when they need it most. When you hear about a grieving mother who has lost her only child and she forgives the careless, intoxicated driver – that is true forgiveness. When you forgive, do you give it all from your heart or do you say it but don’t mean it? It is very difficult to let go, but we have to forgive. Guilt can eat at you until the day comes when you are broken, sad, and unfulfilled. I just realized that today is the day we celebrate Martin Luther King, Jr…someone who practiced great forgiveness in times of great anguish. I encourage you to truly forgive someone this week who might have done you wrong…let it go and know it is easier when it comes from your heart.

Michelle Homme 2011 ©

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