Many, many thoughts come to me when I am out at 5am and as I sit here in a hotel room ready to go to a son’s baseball game, I try to remember all (or maybe just a few)of those thoughts so I can share them with you. At an earlier game, I found myself telling the story of this journey to another parent. I apologized to her about having her hear maybe more than she wanted to, but she seemed appreciative and listened. Thanks, SM. Yesterday, I was thinking about S.E.L.T. – These are the stages I have gone through in my life and think I am at L. wanting to get to T. S stands for “surviving”. When I was younger, I was in survival mode, taking care of myself, doing what needed to get done. Stay out of other’s way, and slide under the radar if I could. Just get, through. E stands for “existing” – where I was on auto-pilot and did what needed to be done. Follow the same rules everyone else created because that’s the norm. Then, last year, I got to L – “living”. I started living my life. I stopped thinking and started really being involved in my life, taking ownership of it and wanting more of it. I only have one life to live and I have to give it all I have – with no regrets. T stands for “thriving”. Not to say I am not thriving now, but when my passion becomes my reality, then I will get to T. I will have come full circle and will have come from the less than desired childhood, to kind of just going through the motions, to finally surrendering it all to everything I have and all that I am. I cannot got back to S. and E. I have to go forward and be better each day. As long as I am living my life the way it is meant to be lived, then the T will come. I still share my story, my journey, my dreams. One day, it will be different and I will keep doing what comes naturally to me and following my heart. I know I am probably repeating myself and rambling. Get to L – skip S and E if you can. Know that you can. You are meant to LIVE.
Michelle Homme 2011 ©