Strong enough?

Have you ever had to be strong, but not sure you were? Have you ever felt like you needed to tell someone something that you were so afraid to tell them? Either because you were afraid you would hurt them or you were afraid that their opinion of you would change? How many hands went up? Mine did. When I let the walls down, I still have strength, but it is harder to find. When the walls are up, I see how strong they are and how they can protect me. But how can you be strong when you feel like there is nothing there that will keep you safe? Your armor and shield are laid at your feet, and you stand alone. I recently told someone that I wasn’t strong enough regarding a particular situation. Honestly, I really don’t think I am. The reply I received was very surprising, yet I knew she meant it the moment I heard it. She told me, “I can be strong enough for the two of us.” Today, I heard a song with that same message and it reminded me of this conversation from two weeks ago. Sometimes, we have to be strong enough for two of us because the other is weak and fragile and scared. I actually feel great strength when I have to be strong for someone else, when they need me. When we are forced to face our fears and conquer them, we become stronger. We learn about what we can and can’t do. Ultimately, we are in control of whether or not we are strong enough. We do not realize what makes us stronger until we are faced with obstacles and turmoil. When do you feel stronger? I feel it when I am of service to others, giving my heart and soul away, almost naturally. Without thinking. Without practice. When the time comes when someone you love tells you that they are not strong enough, be strong enough for the two of you. Then, when you need them, they will be strong for you. It will come when you least expect it, when you think you can’t, when you aren’t sure of anything. But you will be strong enough. You will find the courage to say what needs to be said and still loved regardless of past actions. You have to believe that it is better to have courage to go there than to be afraid for never tried. Even when it is hard, even when you are begging on your knees, even when you aren’t even sure why the tears come. Be strong enough. Fight through your fears, swallow your pride, and give it all you have. Actually, you have more than you know. Because really, there is someone else standing next to you being strong enough for the two of you.

Michelle Homme 2011 ©