What to do…

I was hoping today I would get more answers to the questions I have, yet that was not to be. Now, I have even more questions. Every scenario is playing out in my head and not sure what decision, if any, needs to made at this time. Not even sure that this is the right time to make such a decision. When I was asked a couple of weeks ago what my decision was going to be if this presented itself, I made it very clear what my decision would be. Now that I could be at that exact point, I question. I have to dig deep…I have to trust my heart…like never before. I have to be willing to lay it all out there, never sure of what tomorrow brings. I visited with an old friend today at lunch and it was so good to catch up with her. The funny thing is that we have actually known each other for years, but never really did anything socially like going to lunch before. It was nice to see J and hear what was going on in her life and share what was new in mine. Later, I sent her a text telling that it was a great lunch and she told me that I make her smile…I told her that was easy. I like easy. I read recently that nothing makes you feel better than knowing that the smile someone gives to you is probably a result of you giving them one (or something like that). I know that the answers are there for me…if I let them appear. But I have to be willing to accept them for what they are, even if I am afraid. It is hard to let go and wonder. I asked for signs all day today, hoping that the answers would come. So far, I have not seen any, but will definitely keep my eyes and ears open. Maybe they will come tomorrow when I run. Sometimes, that doesn’t help – I end up with more questions. I must have faith and believe in something not yet secure or definite. That can be hard to do. I have to believe it in order for others to believe in it. Wish me luck…stay tuned for more later. Have a wonderful evening.

Michelle Homme 2011 ©