I really dislike fear, but we all have it. Yes, even I do. Next to FEAR in my back pocket is its usual sidekick, DOUBT. And boy do I hate it when they tag team me from time to time. This week, I started the G.I.F.T. and yesterday I struggled with over thinking what I did ot didn’t do and how it could’ve gone better. My expectation was to try to get these wonderful women to be open to something different and if you were to ask them or me if I accomplished that, then I would bet our answers would be, “yes.” I know I am way too hard on myself, and I was told a couple of times to “let it go.” Guess what I had told these ladies Tuesday night, “Let it go.” I really dislike it when my own words are reminded of where I need to be. Thanks. If you were to ask me what I was fearful of after Tuesday night, I know what my answer would be, but ultimately, I am afraid that I just might be on to something and it will take me places I want to go. Then, FEAR’s little friend, DOUBT shows up because she needs some attention too. Then I doubt if something I said did any kind of difference at all. Kind of like, “What’s the point?” Then, I saw someone yesterday that did not come Tuesday night, but was invited. And was so fearful that she couldn’t come inside. She drove to the building and let her FEAR and DOUBT win. She never did come in. I am not sure how long she waited outside before she left, but she tells me she will come next month (October 25th) for sure. Today, I was thinking about how I was letting my FEAR and DOUBT win and she did the same thing, but for different reasons. In order for me to help others, I have to let go of what holds me back. It makes it easier that way. For BC, I have to let COURAGE and CONFIDENCE show their pretty little faces and let them lead. I acknowledge that FEAR and DOUBT may still be creeping around the corner and will show up from time to time, but right now looking ahead, I see COURAGE and CONFIDENCE. Fear cannot win. Doubt cannot win. I choose.
Michelle Homme 2011 ©