On Monday, I told you about how a dear friend surprised me and reconnected with me after a hiatus from life. Then, I stopped by her house, unannounced the next morning. I think she was glad I stopped by and we chatted more about what happened and what we need to do to get back to where we want to be. We had a nice visit and it still felt very natural and not awkward. She asked me to give her another chance – a chance to make it up to me and even though we cannot go back, she wishes she could. It was good to see her and there are reminders of her everywhere. I cannot wear things she gave to me or write in a book she wrote in for me because they remind me of her. I told her that I still have a little doubt, but don’t want to put the walls back up. I spent a lifetime building them and do not want to spend another lifetime putting them back up. Last night, I am working and start thinking about what I want for my dream and inquire with the kids I am with about an idea I have and they kind of get excited about it, but I never really tell them anything specific. I have put my dream and writing to the side and have not worked on any of it. I have not felt the passion about accomplishing more. One of the kids I was with last night kind of lost it and threatened me in a physical way, and I was left with no choice but to call law enforcement. He kept telling me that he did not have any potential and I talked with him for about 10 minutes about that I believe in every kid and will always believe in them. Then, something happened and he got very aggressive and angry. On top of that, with all of those emotions, I was called in and am on a jury for the next three days. Do you ever have days like this? Where it just seems like it all comes at you at once, and there is no time to even breathe? I went out this morning, with the anticipation to run and didn’t really and came home after not even doing half of my route. My heart wasn’t in it. My heart has been tossed around, pulled from one emotion to another, and then there is everyday life thrown in on top of it all. I don’t even know what to do next. Part of me feels like I am spinning out of control, but really just going with things as they come. Tonight is a night when I need to be reminded that every situation I faced this week could have been worse, as tough as it has been. My friend could still be hiding out, that kid could’ve hit me, and everything else. Sometimes, I need to take a step back and just breathe. Tomorrow is another day and I have yet to find out what will come of that. Enjoy your night!
Michelle Homme 2011 ©